Saturday, March 30, 2013

(Walking) Dead Pool

Who will it be? OH, WHO will it BE? Who shall live and who shall die and who shall die and come back to life and then probably die again??? 

If the rumors are to be believed, at least 26 people are goners on Sunday's Walking Dead Season 3 Finale. As the day approaches I find myself rearranging lifelines and plot lines.  Gather with friends and put your best guesses to the test with this handy-dandy checklist!

I've provided some rules below, but feel free to set your own terms and prizes.

Here's how you play:

Print out a checklist (it prints fine in Black & White) for each player
The player with the most points wins

Worth 1pt for every correct guess:
If you think a character will survive, use a checkmark
If you think a character will die, mark with an "X"

Double or Nothing option (worth 2pts if you're right or 0pts if you're wrong):
If you think a character will die from pure human violence, mark with an "H" instead of an "X"
If you think a character will be bitten by a zombie, mark with a "Z" instead of an "X"

For what it's worth, here are some guesses of my own.

Who Shall Live?
  • Daryl is safe because millions of people would stop watching if he died
  • Carol is safe because of the sexual potential to rock Daryl's world, also because she is ever growing, ever grounding. I know I feel better with Carol alive! And yet...
  • Rick is safe because he is the heart of the story, and YET! I am not too sure. He did just relinquish his dictatorship for the good of the group… Are his visions of Lori foretelling his own demise?
  • Maggie is safe. She and Glenn just got engaged. One of them has to go. I feel like Glenn has hit his “angry” threshold and has nowhere to go as a character. Maggie has yet to come into her own and could kick some serious ass. Or she will die with Glenn, overwhelmed by a zombie horde. Perhaps they shoot each other? :( Sad feelings!
  • Tyreese is safe because... well I'm not sure why but I want to know about his past! Who the heck is he?
  • Michonne is safe because members of the group need someone to blame when everyone is dead, or she can internalize her own guilt over that, especially when Andrea dies. Plus she is finally learning to be a part of a group, only to see it (possibly literally) torn apart! Drama!
  • Milton is safe because we need a scientist and people like him. I like him. Don't kill him.
  • Martinez is safe because ladies love a bad boy on the wrong side who reforms (see Daryl Dixon). I think the human fight will be halted by the arrival of an UNGODLY number of zombies and Martinez will do something heroic to save one of the Prison Peeps.

Who Shall Die?
  • Beth is a goner. They’ve had plenty of chances to develop her character and all she does is fold laundry and sing.
  • AssKicker is a goner. This is the cynical person talking here. I'm just weighing the odds of a baby surviving a zombie apocalypse AND a human war, but I'm also iffy on this one. For example. is there an antidote in her blood that Milton can use to bring people back from Zombiedom?
  • Hershel is a goner. A gentle, loveable, one-legged old man with honor and a big, sweet heart? That’s one leg less than Dale had. I will cry. And yet... Milton may need a mentor! And Carl may need a Grandpa!
  • Allen and Ben are goners. Who? Yeah. Bye.
  • Glenn is a goner. I will cry for this too. He will die heroically or in a super-stupid case of bad timing. Will it be by zombies or by humans? Hmmmm. Maggie will wear her engagement ring around her neck after he is dead. Later she will bond with Rick over losing all of her loved ones, then be wracked with guilt when she and Rick start to have chemistry, but ultimately they will have lots of HOT POST-APOCALYPTIC SEX! Or, you know, she and Glenn will die together and it will be super sad.
  • Sasha is a goner. I am guessing she will jump sides, join the Prison Peeps along with Tyreese in the fight against the Governor and be shot because of it, maybe by Allen, before he is killed by Tyreese. I want her to live though because she's pretty and likable.
  • Carl is a goner. The Governor will take him out. The boy is tough, but not tougher than ol' one-eyed Phillip. Then again, he may witness his father’s death and go APESHIT on the Governor with Daryl.
  • The Governor is a goner. Rick (or Carl) will kill him with Daryl. It will be brutal and gross, and hopefully of They Live proportions. Then again, how cool would it be if the Governor escaped... with AssKicker! Like an old Kung Fu movie. And AssKicker is raised by the enemy! And Rick & Company spend their lives tracking her down, until Rick can summon lightning and the Governor has iron fists and they have an EPIC BATTLE OF EPIC PROPORTIONS!!! HELL YEAAAHHHH!
  • Andrea is a goner. She will be eaten by a zombie, despite being rescued by Daryl.
  • Everybody in Woodbury

But I know I know nothing! I couldn't even name 26 people here. Maybe EVERYONE dies. Except Daryl, Milton, AssKicker, and special guest star Ted Danson! Three Men and a Baby in a cruel, cruel world. GAHHHH! My mind is whirling. Is it Sunday yet?!